Biyernes, Setyembre 16, 2011

Relationships







Relationships take many different forms. Some relationships last throughout a lifetime, while others last only moments. A relationship involves an association between two people. Relationships can be built on trust and mutual goals, but they can also revolve around mutual hatred of another person and even mutual hatred of each other.



Types of relationships

There are different types of relationships. Many of these different types of relationships overlap. A married couple may own a business together and therefore enter into a work relationship. Friends may become romantically involved. Parents may hire their children to work for them. Understanding that different types of relationships often have different rules of etiquette can help people sort out misunderstandings and work together to keep good relationships going. The relationships that we have with people in our lives plays a big role in how we feel about the world on any given day. If you're having problems with an important relationship in your life, consider contacting an online adviser specializing in relationship advice to get immediate help and get your relationship back on track.

Romantic and Intimate Relationships

Romantic or intimate relationships involve partners who are sexually involved with each other. These relationships involve fewer boundaries than other types of relationships. An intimate relationship is the closest relationship an individual can have with another person.

Friendships

Friendships are usually close relationships that are devoid of a sexual component. Sexual activities between friends change the relationship into a romantic or intimate relationship.

Parent-Child Relationships

Obviously, parent-child relationships involve a parent and child with the parent often offering guidance, and emotional support, along with other sustaining physical provisions. Some parent-child relationships are governed more by the rules of friendship, which can cause problems of uncertainty and confusion for children sometimes. Parent-child relationships have certain boundaries that help to maintain the relationship as one involving unconditional love and support.

Vocational or Work Relationships

Some work relationships can be difficult to deal with at times. However, work relationships can also make a difficult job worthwhile. Often, relationships between workers are not friendly, but rather based on competitive behaviors and rivalry. Some work relationships, however, turn into supportive friendships.

Common Questions About Romantic/Intimate Relationships

Romantic or intimate relationships can be some of the most challenging, intense, and interesting parts of a person's life. People who are successful at creating stable work relationships and friendships may still have trouble developing stable and long-lasting romantic relationships. Creating a stable intimate relationship with someone in your life can take a lot of work. Long-lasting romantic relationships take effort and a lot of thought, but the rewards of being in a committed romantic relationship are many. If you're having trouble maintaining a healthy romantic relationship, it may be valuable to talk to an online specialist. 

How will I find the right person?

Finding the right person can be a challenge. Searching for the right person to become involved with romantically can lead to a lot of dates and exploration, but many people who have dated a lot come up short and feel like they've wasted their time. Finding the right person can be more about being ready to find the right person than about being in the right place at the right time. Sometimes seeking a deeper connection to yourself by becoming involved in things you've always wanted to do, or trying to get control of bad habits can lead you to the right person. Most people have strong patterns of behavior that lead them to the same type of romantic partners over and over again. Doing something out of the ordinary can help you meet romantic partners that might suit you better. Online dating sites may be valuable in helping you find the right mate, as well.
If you find yourself romantically involved with the same type of person in relationships that never seem to work out, it may be time for you to talk to someone who can help you figure out what's going wrong. Consider speaking with an online relationship expert who can give you immediate help with your situation from the comfort and privacy of you own home.

How do I keep my partner interested in me?

If you feel like your romantic partner is losing interest in you, it likely won't help for you to try to entertain him or her with something new about yourself or the world. Rather, a partner who appears to be losing interest may need to simply have some time to reconnect with themselves. If you feel like your partner is losing interest, it may be time to have a heart to heart and get to the bottom of what's really going on in your relationship. 
Consider getting involved in something new yourself, to build your self-esteem and take your mind off your partner's wandering thoughts. If your partner truly is losing interest, there may not be anything you can do about it. Never fear, there are always other fish in the sea. Attempting to talk to your partner and work with your partner to restore interest together is your only option. If your partner is not interested in working with you to bring interest back into the relationship, it's up to you to take care of yourself. There is no sense waiting around sitting on your hands while your partner decides whether he or she is interested in you. Instead, go out and do things to keep yourself interested in life and having fun.

What if my partner doesn't want to make a commitment to me?

A commitment between two people who are romantically involved can take several forms. Marriage, of course, is one of the most widely recognized form of commitment between two romantically involved people. Some committed romantic relationships, however, have survived the test of time without the legalities of marriage to back them up. If your partner is not willing to get married, this is one thing, ,but if your partner is unwilling to commit to an exclusive relationship with you, that is another. If you're ready to stop dating other people and you want your partner to stop dating other people also, there may be trouble ahead if he or she is not willing to make this commitment. Commitment is a major part of a continuing relationship. Uncommitted relationships often cycle into deterioration unless partners can make a solid commitment to each other.

Attachment in Parent-Child Relationships

The nature of most parent-child relationships can be described in terms of four different attachment styles. In terms of parent-child relationships attachment refers to the way children interact with their caregivers. Particular attachment styles appear to be developed as a result of a variety of environmental conditions an infant is exposed to, the most important being caregiver commitment and attention. A child's style of attachment has an impact on all of the relationships that they have throughout their lives. Understanding attachment in children can help parents work with their children and help them develop positive attachment behaviors in relationships.

Secure Attachment Style

Children who have a secure attachment style are able to form strong trusting relationships with their caregivers. These children are able to make friends easily. They get along well with peers. Children who are securely attached may cry when their parents leave the room, but they are able to adjust quickly if there is another adult caregiver present.
Parents can help their children form secure attachments by being consistent in their caregiving efforts toward their child. Consistency is extremely important in helping children develop the sense that the world is logical and safe place. 

Avoidant Attachment Style

Children with an avoidant attachment style have learned that they cannot depend on their parents to consistently provide care to them. Children with an avoidant attachment style will often attempt to care for themselves. At times they can be aggressive. Children with an avoidant attachment style have trouble making friends and often do not form strong relationships with their daycare providers.
Parental behaviors that cause children to develop avoidant attachment styles tend to be less consistent than in their caregiving efforts than parents of children who are securely attached. Parents of children with an avoidant attachment style are less likely to be emotionally available to their children than parents of securely attached children.

Ambivalent Attachment Style

Children with an ambivalent attachment style have learned that sometimes parents will meet their needs and sometimes they will be neglected. These children often appear to be younger than they actually are. Children with an ambivalent attachment style will often form brief relationships with perfect strangers.
Parents of children with an ambivalent attachment style are extremely inconsistent in their caregiving efforts. Parents may feed their infant when the infant is not hungry and fail to feed the infant when it is crying for food. Parents of ambivalent children will respond inappropriately to the child's emotions, ignoring them sometimes and other times overreacting to the child's feelings.

Disorganized Attachment Style

All of the above attachment styles are still considered “organized”. Though children with ambivalent or avoidant attachment styles may not be able to form strong attachments, they are still able to figure out how to get what they need from parents and the people around them in order to survive. In contrast, children who have a disorganized attachment style do not know how to predict how their parents will respond to them. Because they are unsure about how their parents will respond or if their parents will respond to their needs, these children often do things that do not make sense. Children with disorganized attachments are often unable to understand other people's feelings.
Parents of children with a disorganized attachment style do not respond appropriately to their child's needs. When parents do respond to their children, the response often doesn't make sense or does not fit the situation.
Making efforts toward the parent-child relationship when your child is between 1 and 5 years of age can seriously impact your child's future. It is important for parents to investigate all caregivers for their child carefully. Daycare providers are an important piece in the attachment puzzle. It is important that children experience their small world as being consistent, friendly, and predictable.

Divorce and Kids

Divorce is a major event in a person's life. Getting a divorce can be extremely stressful, especially when children are involved. Working out the an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse following a divorce can be difficult. But if you have children it is necessary to try to work out a way to be civil with the other parent. Kids love their parents. Even if you don't love your child's father or mother anymore, its important that you validate your child's love for his or her other parent.
Children who listen to their parents fighting experience a lot of stress. Divorce can actually relieve some of that stress. Most kids however, would rather see their parents work out their differences, but sometimes it just isn't possible to work things out and then divorce is often a healthier option than masquerading about the house as though nothing is wrong. Even though kids can be relieved about divorce insofar as the fighting in their house has stopped, they still are likely to want to have access to the other parent. Unless there was a severe form of child abuse going on with the other parent, it is important that kids get to see and have a relationship with both parents.
Kids who do not get to have contact with their “other” parent often fantasize about the other parents and spend a lot of time wondering about this person who contributed to half of their biological make-up. Kids may feel as though their other parent didn't love them if they are denied access to one of their parents. Kids experience divorce differently than the adults involved. Kids are often very confused about why their parents got a divorce and whether or not they could have stopped their parents from getting a divorce. Further, kids who are not allowed to see their other parent are often led to believe that they don't get to have a relationship with the other parent because the parent was “bad” in some way. For kids this can extrapolate out into the belief that if the other parents was bad, there might be some badness inside of them too.
Kids learn to know themselves and accept who they are through their parents. Even children who are adopted remain curious about their biological parents, even if they never knew them. But children of divorce have often had the opportunity to know both of their parents and have a relationship with them. Children who had a relationship with their mother and then are abruptly forbidden to see her may have adjustment issues that stem from these changes. Unless their mother was hurting them in some way, it would be valuable for the children to continue having a relationship with their mother, even after divorce.
Divorce changes the family unit in a big way. It can be hard for parents to care for their own complex and overwhelming emotions while simultaneously caring for their child's emotions during a divorce. But it is important for parents to tune into their children and pay attention to their child's emotions. Anger toward the ex-spouse should never be expressed by parents toward kids who are going through a divorce. Though you may be angry with your ex, you need to allow your children to love their other parent.
Parents who do not allow their children to love their other parent find that their children will simply learn to hide their strong feelings. Not allowing children to love their other parent can cause the development of emotional parent-child barriers. Though you may be angry with your ex-spouse, it is not okay to take these emotions out on your kids, or even to expect your kids to understand your anger. Kids whose parents take the time to try to facilitate a relationship with the other parent during and after a divorce will be rewarded later on when their children grow into healthy adults and appreciate the sacrifices that were made on their behalf.